Happy Spring Break to all! I hope everyone is having a great vacation :) For the first part of my break I got the chance to go up to the Salt Lake City area to visit my best friend Justin. We used to be roommates last year, and I miss him a lot so it was really good to be able to go and see him. Saturday was one of the most fun days ever, just laughing and catching up with him. Right when I got there he ran out of the car and said "Manda! You are finally here!" and gave me a big hug and it almost made me cry. Of course, this is me so there has to be some interesting twist of events within the first minutes of my arrival...involving the police.
But after that we went on our merry way. We did my absolute favorite thing, which was go to Ikea and look all the furniture and eat cinnamon rolls. It's the adult version of a toy store. I'm telling you, we could spend days in there! I love just being around Justin because he actually listens to me and cares what's going on in my life, which is very rare with people in today's world. Not saying everyone is bad because they are distracted: people get caught up in other things and are busy. But Justin has never been that way. He just loves listening to my stories.
We also went to a birthday party for his nephew and sister, and I really love Justin's family. They are all so funny and welcoming, I always feel right at home. I laughed so hard about our AWFUL waiter at Pirate Island and his terrible accent, and the little kids were so darling. They kept beating the crap out of Justin and throwing napkins at him, which is probably an awful thing for an adult to encourage but I was like "THROW THEM AT HIS BUTT!" hahaha.
The Ikea parking lot :) haha
We caught up with my old friend Tyson and met some new friends and go to a few different parties in Salt Lake. I love random nights like those. On the car ride home we sang songs from "Hairspray" and "Glee," which is what we always used to do when he lived in St. George. Justin has a beautiful singing voice: it gives me the chills and he is fun to sing with. I pretend I know what I'm doing to seem cool, but I never do. hahaha. Me and Justin also love listening to Adele, Rihanna and The Black Eyed Peas when we are hanging out. They are our songs that remind us of each other when we are far away.
We also got to watch "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," which is a really special movie to us. That sounds so weird to say! hahahaha! But we went to a midnight showing of it on the day before Halloween last year and we had so much fun. Plus it is one of the parts of this really cool book Justin gave me that I read that changed my life. It is called "Perks of Being a Wallflower." I highly recommend it.
Justin invited a lot of his new friends over (who all seemed really cool and fun) and it was just perfect relaxing vacation: listen to music, eat lots of junk food, tons of TV...even played the ultimate video game ever...Mario Kart! I used to be so good at it but 10 years can change a lot hahaha. Princess Peach kicks ass though. Justin worked really hard to put together fun things to do while I was visiting, and he was so happy to see me. I love his hugs, and he always whispers little things when he gives one. And when he told me how happy he was that I was there and that he loved me, I will never forget how special that made me feel.
Overall, the trip was really fun up until the end. I got to spend three whole days with my best friend, which hasn't happened in three months. It's crazy how much one person can impact your daily life. I don't want to go into what exactly happened right now, and I know everyone is probably dying to know, so i'm sorry to cut the brakes on the story for you. But I just can't . Sometimes talking about your problems can be therapeutic, but other times it hurts too much to remember and relive it over and over again. Me and Justin ended up having a misunderstanding and I had to leave in a way that wasn't what either of us wanted. I was very hurt by what happened, and so was he.
I do regret what was said and honestly wish it never did. It did teach me some lessons about what is and isn't important in life: sometimes I identify the wrong actions or ideals and associate them with people caring about me. It's something that I haven't always been aware of until now but have to learn to work out so it doesn't damage myself or my relationships.
As for other things, the situation was definitely not all my fault, but I do think when you care about someone alot (especially that you don't see very often) emotions can tend to run high, especially if someone has been hurt by the other. I can only represent my side fairly, so i can't really get into that. We were both not very nice. I came home and just haven't been myself since, not eating or sleeping. I hate ending things on a bad note like that, and it has been really hard for me to cope with since it happened. I don't know what the future holds, but it is in my nature to be a very forgiving person. I know in my heart a positive resolution can come from the other side, and that I will be able to solve some of my worries through that when it does happen. I just have to wait and see what is next to come: I did all that I could.
I do know that I just went through the hardest nights of my life. All lessons though, right? But i'm trying to be okay now and look back at the good and learn from the bad.
After I got home last night, I watched the new episode of Glee, and this song made me cry. It really inspired me, especially after what just happened. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. And remember (as I do, and someone very special to me told me this once) that when you are having a hard time, there are always angels watching over you. Some might be sent by your family, your friends, or even God himself. But they watch over you and keep you safe even when you believe no one else cares about you, or that all of your problems are unfixable. There is always an answer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5J5U2CXJ3o&feature=related
Casey is really unique and special too, very funny and fun to be around. He is very giving, he would do anything for his friends. For my birthday he gave me a cellphone! Brand new, never used EnV touch...just because he knew how much it would mean to me. And their were times that Casey knew I couldn't afford something and he would help me pay for it, like when we went to see Ke$ha for my birthday, or times we went out to eat or chipped in for "party supplies" hahaha. I really do love them both and will think about them all the time. 
Right before they left, we met some new friends too, Jake and Cole. I've actually "known" Jake for years (we went to high school together and ran in the same circle of friends) but never met his boyfriend Cole until now. They are both so sweet and genuine. We met them on Sunday...we literally went over to their house every night for 5 days straight! Lol. We stayed up until 5 in the morning just talking and laughing, enjoying all of our time together while we still could. I think now having Cole and Jake in my life will make it a little bit easier since they remind me a lot of Casey and Dillinger, and we are already getting to be such close friends in a short period of time. Both of them are amazing, I am excited for the next chapters in all of our lives.
